Women
September 7, 2007
Maybe it is because I see her through rose colored glasses; she can do no wrong in my eyes. And that is why I deal. I keep telling myself that she does not know that she is hurting me. It makes me feel better that she does not hurt me on purpose. How could she? She is perfect. She can do no wrong.
I am very much the romantic. Not a ‘flowers all over your car and note in the windshield’ type romantic, but an ‘I remembered that you wanted a snow globe earlier this year and got it for you for Christmas’ type. I do get into the gift giving and setting up the scene, but as I think the most romantic thing you can do for someone is show them how much you care, I am more into making sure that is what I do. You may forget something you say, but I do not.
She knows I love her. She knows that I am wrapped around her finger. What woman does not? She knows that if she calls me, I am there. Whatever she needs, I get it. She knows I want nothing more than to make her happy and give her everything she could ever want. She knows it. So why does she treat me the way she does?
If she loves me, why does she hurt me? She does not show me affection or battle me in who loves who more. Maybe she knows it is I who loves her more than she does me? Could it be?
In the beginning we were both as in to each other as the other was. She would call me ‘baby’ and tell me how amazing I am. She would compliment me and tell me how I am her soul mate. It was an amazing feeling to not only be loved but to be loved by her.
I will never understand women being one myself even. I would love nothing more than for a woman to make me their world; to treat me like I am a gift. I want to be pursued, wanted, and loved like I love.
Is it really too much to ask?
Entitled
September 6, 2007
You get off the bus from school and walk to your house. You throw your heavy book bag on the chair and go straight for the fridge. What will you snack on today? Dr. Pepper and chips? Milk and cookies? Juice and crackers? Maybe a little of everything? Too many options so why not? You grab your plate of goodies and plop down on the couch to channel surf. It feels so good to be out of that heat. You finish what you can, toss the rest, and then get on the phone to see what your friends are doing. Your mom comes home and fixes dinner while you finish your homework. You eat, have dessert, and even are so nice as to help with the dishes. You take a shower and get in your comfortable bed and go to sleep. Dreamland is not far off. Tomorrow is another day and it will be just as boring.
Then there is her.
A girl walks home from school in shoes with broken soles. She can feel every rock on the side of the street with each step. She has to carry her books in her hand because her family cannot afford bread let alone a bag pack for school. She arrives at the shed that they call a house and walks up the creaking steps. She opens the screen door that is supposed to separate their home from the outside world and walks into the murky room. It is hot outside but even hotter inside. Air conditioning is a luxury her family does not know. She lays her books down on the card table they call a dinner table and gets started on her housework. She looks in her fridge for something to eat but knows that nothing has changed since yesterday. There is nothing in there but some week old bread and half a gallon of milk that must be conserved until the next time they can get to the church pantry. She fixes some stew with all the odds and ends she can find. Her mom comes home and they eat. She makes sure she cleans the pot because it is the only one they have and they will surely need it tomorrow. She goes to the restroom, grabs a rag, and washes herself down; a bath or a shower is for special occasions only. She gets in her bed and pulls the sheet up and goes to sleep. She dreams only so she can drown out the noises of the street, and that she will live to see tomorrow.
Perception is a powerful tool that we do not use very often. I used to curse God for my life; I used to wonder when I am going to get my just due. After all, I put up with the abuse from my parents as a child and the lack of love, right? I sacrificed my well being for others. I am generally a good person! Should I not then get a break!?! And then I was coming home from work talking to God. We were going back and forth as usual when I finally conceded to God that I should be appreciative of what I do have. I know others here in America alone that have it worse off than I do without even having to think about third world countries. And then it really hit me. All this time I had been comparing myself to third world countries; I had been accepting that I do have more than they do and therefore should be thankful, but it was never ‘real’ in my head. But when I thought about the people I know personally, it became more personal. Who am I that I think I am entitled to anything? Why should I be entitled to a break? Who am I that I am more important than the next? I am an amazing person, a good person, and a child of God, but I am not better than the next man, woman, or child. It was a huge reality check; I apologized to God and told him as much. I am not entitled. But if He feels inclined to answer my prayers the way I would like, I would be thankful.
Tags: Perception, God, entitled
Broken Homes?
September 5, 2007
When a marriage ends, a straight couple breaks up, or a woman becomes a single mother; in any means, the child should be taken from the woman. After all, Christian activists contend that gays and lesbians should not have kids because a child needs both a mother and a father. So the same should apply to single parents. Because the child cannot have both a mother and a father, the child should be taken away and given to those who can provide the nuclear unit.
But the child would still be able to see his or her father, you say? Why then cannot the same argument be applied to a gay or lesbian family? Because you do not want it to? Because the family is gay or lesbian? What does that have to with anything? Once a family is split up, does that automatically make them bad homes?
The children will learn to be gay you say? What about the children that are allowed to stay in homes where the father abuses the mother or the child? Will they then learn to be abusers? What about the homes where the mother or the father is of a certain profession? A baseball player or a housewife? Will they learn to become a baseball player or a housewife? What about the ones where the mother or the father is of a certain religion? Will the child then be that religion? If we as adults know anything about growing up, we know that first, it is not learned that we follow in our parent’s footsteps, but also that we have control over our lives.
It is a well known fact that we do not always become our parents. If anything, we rebel against our family unit. We rebel against their ordeals, beliefs, and wants. Why would we expect any different from a child growing up in a gay family? Would not the horrors of the bashing that their parents are surely to meet be enough to detract them away from that way of life (if, as you contend, homosexuality is a learned act)?
Who wants to be abused and judged? Who would voluntarily step into the depths of despair? Who would voluntarily take on that judgment? That wrath? The world is not accepting of gays and lesbians so why would a child learn to be gay when they see the discrimination? Would not that teach them to not be gay? Being gay means to be hated, despised, ridiculed, beaten, and made fun of. Why would that mean that the child would then allow for it? Would not the child learn that this is in fact not the way to go? It would seem that the way to keep a child from going gay would be to have them placed in a gay family. After all, if they see the abuse and homosexuality is supposedly a choice of the person, would not they then choose to be straight? Because…after all…homosexuality is learned, right?
The very arguments that the straight people make are the ones that they should and could apply to their own community. The fact that one is held high above the other should not be allowed. It is called hypocrisy and is all that the people know. We should stop teaching our children to become hypocrites.
Tags: Christian activists, judged, homosexuality, hypocrites
Law of Attraction
September 4, 2007
Why are women not attracted to all men? Why are men not attracted to all women? It is natural, right? It is the way to be; to be attracted to the opposite sex. So why are you not attracted to all members of the opposite sex?
You cannot sit there and tell me it is because of their personality or how they look. They are a man, and you are a woman; you should be attracted to each other and be with each other because this is the way of God. Never mind that you do not have any feelings for this man or this woman; God says you must be attracted to the opposite sex so you must deny your true feelings and be with that man or woman.
How logical does that sound? How logical is it to say that God wants us to only be with men or women no matter if we are attracted to them or not? We should deny our feelings just to be with the opposite sex? Because this is how God wants it?
The Bible warrants that your body is a temple that should be kept pure. But because God knows that the flesh is weak, He made an exception to say that we could have sex in the unity of marriage. To be totally devoted to God would be to abstain from sex, but God does not penalize us for doing it when married. Just because He does not penalize us, does not mean that He supports the idea. God would still rather we are abstinate. How would we populate then? Exactly. Does reading the Bible translated from the Greek and Hebrew origins really make sense often?
Foundations of many belief systems are borne on the simplest of ideas. A small verse in a book of hundreds of chapters can make or break a system! It is the innate ability of the human race to take the smallest of things and blow them out of proportion. It is the legalistic approach to religion that condemns everyone. The Bible says there is no God and as such we should not believe in God…it does say it you know. ‘The fool sayeth in his heart “There is no God”‘. But because the Bible says it, I should accept it, and condemn others by its words. Never mind the context, the times, or who it is spoken to or about because it is in the Bible, and that Book is God-breathed.
By Christian logic, there should be no reason for a woman or man to be single. We should all be attracted to each other and thus be with each other. There is no excuse because God said it. Never mind that God also said that we should gouge our eye out if it offends us for example, by looking at a woman with lust. After all, that is just an allegory. We are allowed to pick and choose what things God meant literally and what things He did not mean literally. Why? Because we are Christians and what we say goes.
Tags: attracted, opposite sex
Musings
September 3, 2007
**Editorial Note: The following is NOT indicative of any events, persons, or thoughts in my life. It is my creative license at work. Any future ‘musings’ also have the same preempt.**
She loves me for me, and I love her for her. If it were a man with the same personality, traits, and ambitions, I would love him too. It is not because she is a woman that I love her. It is because she is the perfect mate that I love her.
When we make love, we make love. We do not have fuck or have sex. We make love. It is sweet, soft, sensual, and just what being together should be like. She knows what I want, and I know what she wants, but it is so much more than that; it is about being together and touching each other in awe. Every time I see her naked body, I am in awe of the fact that she lets me touch it, that she calls me hers, and that it is really real. How could such a thing of beauty let me be near her, let alone touch her?
All the men want her. Who wouldn’t? She’s tall with long sleek, sexy legs. Her long straight hair has lowlights because it is so blonde that it is almost white. She cannot be more than a buck ten and looks sexy as hell in her dress attire. I would want her to be my corporate adviser!
But you cannot tell by looking at her that she is a lesbian. You could not tell by looking at her that she wants women and can tease a clit till you are ready to cry in ecstasy. You could not tell by looking at her that she would rather clean toilets than do men. She is a true lesbian. And she’s all mine.
People think that lesbians have to be hard, ugly, and anti-feminine. They think the only reason a lesbian becomes a lesbian is because they cannot get a man. A true lesbian loves women because they are attracted to them just as a straight woman is attracted to a man. It is not about sexual attraction or lust; it is about a sensual attraction triggered by a woman being all woman and everything you could ever want and more.
Every time I see her, I want her. I fall in love with her every day all over again. Clichés abound with her. With her, I am complete. She makes me feel like I can do anything, go anywhere, and be anyone I want. She supports me for being just me.
What is love but the action of feeling complete with another soul? Finding the missing piece of your heart. The key. What is love but eternal bliss on Earth? A touch of heaven. A taste of things to come. Such is my life with her. Complete.
Tags: make love, lesbian, love
Good Song
September 2, 2007
This song is awesome. Simply. Words have as much power as you give them, but the right combination of words can invoke great emotions. I love the first verse completely and the line in the chorus that goes “And I’ll take you for who you are, If you take me for everything.” It is the epitome of who I am. I do not ask for anyone to change who they are so long as they are okay with who I am. This song is great, but so is the music video that made it so popular. If you have not seen it, you must go to youtube and look up the “free hugs campaign.” It is awesome. I have nothing but respect for those who go out to make a difference with something as simple as a hug.
All the Same
By Sick Puppies
I don’t mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
But I don’t like illusions I can’t see
Them clearly
I don’t care, no I wouldn’t dare
To fix the twist in you
You’ve shown me eventually what you’ll do
I don’t mind
I don’t care
As long as you’re here
Go ahead and tell me you’ll leave again
You’ll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It’s all the same
And I’ll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It’s all the same
Hours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
But in-between it always seems too long
Suddenly
But I have the skill, yeah
I have the will, to breathe you in while I can
However long you stay is all that I am
I don’t mind
I don’t care
As long as you’re here
Go ahead and tell me you’ll leave again
You’ll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It’s all the same
And I’ll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It’s always the same
Wrong or right
Black or white
If I close my eyes
It’s all the same
In my life
The compromise
I’ll close my eyes
It’s all the same
Go ahead say it!
You’re leaving
You’ll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It’s all the same
And I’ll take you for who are now
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It’s all the same
Tags: All the Same, Sick Puppies
Senseless Censorship
September 1, 2007
What is censorship? Nothing more than a regulation on personal preference and opinion. People do not like to hear or see things that will offend THEM so they sanction free flow. And what is gained? We all know that if we bottle up our emotions or thoughts that they will explode on someone. It is by capping that free flow that we ensure the explosion.
Why censor? To protect our kids? And what do they get exposed to? Whatever we let them, right? And then what? Protect our own eyes? Who forces us to look? Censorship seems senseless especially with the free flow of information and sources found on the internet. If anything, your children will see it here before they see it anywhere else.
Censorship? Seems to be another reason for the big men to beat their chests.
Tags: censorship, offend
