Sunday Sermon
October 26, 2008
My life has always been a hectic one; just when I think things are going well for me, they make a turn for the worse. I cannot seem to get a break in this game called life. Even when I think about getting one, I do not know if I would know what to do with it. There are just times where I think that I’d rather just ‘be’ and do nothing at all: don’t eat, don’t sleep, don’t work….just be.
When everything seems to be too much, I curse God. I wonder why He hates me so much. I just cannot understand it. All my life I have been shitted on, but done nothing to warrant the bullshit. I have loved and worshiped God since Jr. High so why doesn’t He love me like I love Him?
I realized coming home today that I get this way in my most dire of circumstances. Instead of calling on God, I feel as though He has abandoned me…before I ask for help.
I’m working on better, but I can understand the need to ask the question ‘why’. Only problem is, I forget our minds are too finite to understand the ongoings of an infinate God…
Jen’s Update
October 21, 2008
Ok. So I do want to continue on my last post, but it has been so hectic in my life right now. Not in a bad way…mostly…but just doing a million things at once. I have become so overwhelmed trying to balance work, online work, and a social life.
I have been doing a lot of thinking though. I cannot wait until the time when I can do nothing but let my thoughts flow in a novel of my life [unpublished surely =P].
I am constantly bugged by the state of the world. I said just last night that I do not envy future generations at all. Our world is overcome with greed, war, and hostility. It is depressing and downright disgusting. I do not want to know what is going on with our nation; I’d rather live in my own world and worry about my own day-to-day rather than get pulled into the nonsense that is politics nowadays. I’m disgusted by the state of the nation. Downright disgusted. Freaking A. I mean geeze. What the hell?
Think guys. THINK. FUCK! I swear I’m just so done with thinking the US is so great. I feel blessed to be here because of all the opportunities I am afforded, but I am so ashamed at our piss poor government. I know, I know. I shouldn’t talk about shit that I’m not involved in, right? But yo, the answer to all our problems every time is not war. It is so easy for the president to enact war on other nations because he does not have to be on the frontlines himself. So easy to have someone else doing his dirty work. If he supports the war so damn much, why doesn’t he step into the battleground too? Whatever.
