ADD And Me
March 8, 2008
So I’ve been kinda diagnosed with ADD/ADHD…it varies depending on which therapist you talk to, but I’m sure most of my friends would agree with the latter. The problem this poses for me is not in my social interactions or in my overall well being, but in accomplishing goals that I have wanted to complete for awhile now. Take for instance this blog. I love sitting down and writing my thoughts on the world and society as I see it, but to look at it depresses me. I chose the theme because red is my favorite color and I have always enjoyed red and dark gray together. That combined with the fact that I wanted a 3-column theme where my content was always on the far left made this theme a great find. But I don’t like it. And I don’t like 99.9% of the free themes available. So I have been meaning to order one on the Digital Point forums for some time, but have not had the funds. However, if I would just sit still long enough to spit out some articles, I could gain the funds easily by selling them to webmasters looking for fast content. But that’s just it: I can’t sit still. Well, I mean I can, but I can’t. See, I start to do one thing which leads to another thing which leads to yet another thing. The only reason I can get through one wordpress post is because of the fact that I don’t have to go to any other place but my admin panel to make a post. Any time I decide to post a Youtube video, I will be away from my post for at least a good hour, lol.
It frustrates me more than in just my online endeavors. I used to be an avid reader and could finish a good read in a day or two depending on the length of the book. But this ADD thing will not even let me get through a paragraph. It’s not that I don’t try either. I love books and miss them, but I just cannot stay focused long enough to read one.
I tried medication when I was in high school but I did not find that they worked too well in my opinion so I stopped. I do not like the idea of being dependent on a drug, but I am slowly wondering if I should go back on medication. I miss my focus. ADD and me are just not a great match. I have a plethora of ideas that I start and never finish because I always think of another idea right in the middle. I would love to be able to finish some neglected projects. I’ve even meant to get online and find some natural remedies for ADD but each time I open up Google, I end up searching for something else (I simply love Google).
I don’t get much of the overly-focused aspect of ADD; seems my girlfriend does though, lol. She becomes so engrossed in the TV or her hands or something totally random that she blocks out the world. Whereas I cannot keep my focus on any one thing long enough! ADD and me: not the winning combination. :/
**Update: Going on no sleep, I have decided to alter my theme. This theme that I am presently playing around with is not the theme I reference in this post, but if you were a reader from the beginning of my blog, you will know which theme I was referencing. Or you can see it on my other (alas neglected) blog: Relinquish Debt.
Tags: medication, ADD, focus
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