Disappointment
February 19, 2008
I set myself up to be disappointed because even though I know the world is not the utopia I would like it to be, I expect fantasy. I expect for everyone to think like I do and adhere to the chivalry of medieval times. But we are no longer in the medieval period; chivalry is dead and along with it is that special feeling of feeling special.
Even when I know that things will not go the way I want or even the way everyone promises me they will, I try to hold on to the promises knowing I will only be disappointed in the end. I get hurt, disappointed, and feel alone, but have no one else to blame but myself. When I know the truth and choose to believe the lies, how can I really hold anyone else accountable? In the scheme of things, the white lies are meaningless, but in the moment they feel like a ton of bricks.
Yesterday was my birthday. And my sister did not even wish me a happy birthday.
Tags: chivalry, special, hurt, disappointed, alone
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